only if we run a train.
done.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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