WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
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Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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