I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wear drunk well.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
