guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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