i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I want a musical about memes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
