Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
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I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.