I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
