with your own penis?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize