So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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