plz talk dirty to me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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