finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .