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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
