i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.