it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
about cumming, not toast
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory