im gay
i know
yea but for you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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