Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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