please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
