it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
