ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.