Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.