if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize