those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize