I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
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Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
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