I wannas sexs uuuuu
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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