i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
