wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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