you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize