he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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