You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
