I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
