doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.