If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.