Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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  (978): Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you. http://tfl.nu/pcz9
  Replies (16) Good night (766) Bad night (3486) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone

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  (513): i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone http://tfl.nu/hza4
  Replies (15) Good night (5232) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy

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  (517): if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy http://tfl.nu/rglc
  Replies (22) Good night (4798) Bad night (1583) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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  (413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj
  Replies (4) Good night (2121) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours

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  (480): I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours http://tfl.nu/lbg0
  Replies (17) Good night (948) Bad night (2671) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.

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  (617): Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy. http://tfl.nu/ysza
  Replies (30) Good night (3914) Bad night (2079) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.

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  (925): I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/g61c
  Replies (8) Good night (900) Bad night (3345) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

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  (805): I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now. http://tfl.nu/p09l
  Replies (6) Good night (4203) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (2906) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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  (661): Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode. http://tfl.nu/t52r
  Replies (18) Good night (618) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february

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  (732): if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february http://tfl.nu/tz00
  Replies (2) Good night (1093) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic

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  (608): My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic http://tfl.nu/so38
  Replies (13) Good night (1268) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.

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  (916): I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot. http://tfl.nu/9evn
  Replies (6) Good night (846) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

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  (225): I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid! http://tfl.nu/3alp
  Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (1517) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS

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  (410): IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS http://tfl.nu/c2np
  Replies (10) Good night (876) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt

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