No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
