You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize