Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im so drunk with asians
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap