I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?