you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
