I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
