moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize