Where is the hickey?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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