There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
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My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
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You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home