I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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