what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize