How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
