found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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