I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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