Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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