dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
