I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
