I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
