just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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