Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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