I've blown a few things in my day
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
