Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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