hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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