The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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